Why is Rejection so Painful?

Lately I have come face-to-face again and again with the deep wounds left by rejection. It seems as if everyone has some sort of scar from being dismissed or abandoned.

Rejection strikes us with a blow that stings but lingers. It is not easily forgotten and often shapes us. In its wake we find ourselves more desperate for acceptance and validation than ever before yet more far more afraid to seek it. Sometimes we try to lessen the blow by telling ourselves that the person(s) who rejected us didn’t really know us. Surely if they knew us they wouldn’t have rejected us. Surely we are too valuable to be dismissed.

It comes at us from every aspect of life. Employers give the job to someone else. Colleges don’t accept us. We reach out in friendship but grasp onto nothing. Often we feel rejection in relationships; break-ups can leave us reeling. I’ve seen it in both men and women.

 I am not a stranger to the feeling of rejection or the desperate desire to understand why it happened. Why? What’s wrong with me?

Before I look into why rejection is so universal and so painful, I want to share a simple truth that brought a lot of healing to me.

The truth lies in the most rejected man who ever lived. He was scorned not by a few, but by multitudes. Hated. Spit on. Bruised. He reached out to so many and they didn’t want him. He loved them and they killed him.

Jesus Christ was the most rejected man who ever lived.

Jesus Christ was the most valuable man who ever lived.

No man or woman could ever surpass the worth of Christ. He is God incarnate—the Savior of the world.  It is undeniable that he is of immeasurable value, a treasure of abounding worth, yet he is the most rejected of all mankind.

Not everyone knew he was the Christ, but do not forget that some did. The disciples had seen his miracles and heard his words, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) Peter even said to Jesus, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” (Matt. 16:16) The same Peter later denies that he knows Jesus three times. Christ was rejected even by those closest to him.

Let’s consider what that means:

There is no correlation between rejection by people and your value. What a person (including yourself) thinks of you has nothing to do with your worth. Nothing.  Remember that.

That being said, why is rejection so very painful and why do we automatically tie it to worth and value?

In the Garden of Eden, God made mankind. After doing so, “God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31)

After creating, God makes a judgment—He declares mankind to be good, accepting what He has made rather than rejecting it.

Then mankind chose to disobey God, eating the fruit of the forbidden tree. Suddenly, Adam and Eve are filled with shame. Shame. They want to hide their very selves. Why?

Are they afraid that when they meet God again His verdict will have changed? Creation is corrupted. There is something deeply wrong with them. A truly good God cannot accept them anymore—rejection is inevitable.

So Adam and Eve must leave the garden behind. At their creation, they were deemed “good.” They were valuable, worthy. Since then, mankind has been chasing after this verdict relentlessly.

We were made to be deemed worthy and valuable. This judgment is one we long for. The problem is that the judgment we yearn for is one made by God.

The verdict of a person has no power to fill us. When we are rejected, the blow strikes deeply because the wound is already there. Yes, there is something very wrong—we left true goodness behind in the Garden.

When we are accepted by people, the verdict leaves us feeling great. For a while. A person’s judgment doesn’t seem to stick. Soon we need them to say it again or we need another person to decide we are valuable.

A human lacks the authority of God. Only God is truly good (Mark10:18). Only He can make a true judgment. The Word of God creates—it makes something out of nothing. His Word alone stands. No matter how many times someone accepts you or makes you feel worthy, you will always need further validation.

Mankind rejected Christ, but the Father declared Him worthy. Only one judgment matters.

This is what our hearts long for. When we stand before God, we not only want Him to declare us righteous that we may have eternal life—we want to be deemed good, worthy, valuable. We want to hear “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” (Matt. 25:21). We want to be restored and redeemed. We want God to accept us, to know us fully and to declare us valuable.

It’s so easy to look to other people for their judgments. Praise and acceptance can be enticing, rejection and criticism hurtful.

That is why our eyes must remain fixed on the cross. There lies the verdict of our God. He gave His Son of immeasurable worth for us, placing the highest price upon us. He gave us this immeasurable worth and value. Then He paid that price to ransom us.

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:6-8)

In the cross we can hear God declaring His children “good.” It is a declaration that is heavy with authority, reverberating across eternity.

Note: I have recently read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge and The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller. These thoughts were written with the content of those books swirling in my head. I would highly recommend The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. It is a wonderful little book that uses the gospel to bring freedom.

The Sinner and the Savior

“And he went into all the region around the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the for forgiveness of sins.”
Luke 3:3

“From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”
Matthew 5:17

Repentance. This word is one found again and again in not only the New Testament but the Old Testament as well. Not only that, but it is almost always married to the idea of salvation. Repent and be saved. 

Christians often treat repentance like picky children treat vegetables. It is necessary in some cases (usually following a grievous sin of some sort), but certainly not desirable.

I would like to argue that, biblically, repentance is not just necessary in some cases, but essential to daily life as a follower of Christ. In addition, it is not something to push to the edge of our plates, but something to delight in.

Let us take a moment to explore what biblical repentance looks like. The book of Joel provides a lot of insight into this concept and I encourage you to read it. For the sake of understanding, though, I will list a few verses here:

“Put on sackcloth and lament, O priests; 
wail O ministers of the altar. 
Go in, pass the night in sackcloth,
O ministers of my God!…
Consecrate a fast; call a solemn assembly.
Gather the elders
and all the inhabitants of the land
to the house of the Lord your God,
and cry out to the Lord.” (1:13-14)

“‘Yet even now,’ declares the Lord,
‘return to me with all your heart,
with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
and rend your hearts and not your garments.'” (2:12-13)

As described in Scripture, repentance involves lament and mourning. It is not simply an acknowledgement of a mistake, but a recognition of the atrocity of sin. Sin is a violation against God himself.

David, when repenting of his sin, said to the Lord, “Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” (Psalm 51)

Repentance is not simply regretting what you have done because of the consequence or because it has burdened your conscience. No, it is understanding what sin means. It means we are broken, dead, and depraved. Our very nature is hateful to God.

Sin reveals the condition of our hearts. When we understand this condition, we cannot help but mourn for we are beyond hope. There is nothing we can do to rescue ourselves.

David recognizes this for he asks God to intervene many times in Psalm 51, his psalm of repentance:

“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.” (v. 7)

“Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.” (v. 10)

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.” (v. 12)

“Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation.” (v. 14)

David sees that God is his only hope for restoration. Clearly, repentance is seen as essential in Scripture.

Yet, it seems that so often we skim over repentance and move straight to salvation. We dare not dwell too long on it lest someone think that we are suggesting salvation require anything apart from faith. Salvation is by faith alone, right?

Let me pause for a moment, then, to provide some clairification:

Repentance is not the means by which you are saved.

It is the means by which you know you need to be saved.

Most of the book of Joel is an extended call to repentance. Only after declaring this message, does the prophet present a message of hope and salvation. (3:17-21)

John the Baptist was called to prepare the way of the Lord. How did he do this? By preaching a message of repentance. Repentance, to John the Baptist, was the way hearts are prepared to meet the Lord.

How?

You cannot see Christ as your savior if you cannot see yourself as needing to be saved. 

Often we see Christ as a vaccine. We hear from somewhere that we are sinful and that we will spend eternity seperated from God in hell if we do not accept Christ as our savior. So we welcome him into our hearts so that when we die will be immune to hell. That is not a biblical understanding of salvation.

No, the salvation described by Paul in the New Testament is very different. It is not a vaccine. Rather, it is a cure. 

We were slaves (John 8:34, Romans 6:16-18) and dead in our sins (Colossians 2:13, Ephesians 1:1-2). Repentance forces us to dwell in the direness of our situation.

Perhaps we are ready to accept this view of salvation. If we do so, however, we must change the way we look at ourselves. If we are in need of a vacccine, we are currently well and can continue life mostly as we have previously. If we are in need of a cure, however, we are terminally ill and nothing will be the same. Like David, we need God to step in and heal us. We need to be saved. Nothing else can deliver us.

This is something I have talked about before when writing about Jeremiah 30, but it is something we need to not only hear, but reflect on.

We have heard before that we are sinful, but we need to know it. We need to see the wickedness that has corrupted mankind and regard it as a deep, personal truth.

Whether you are a Christian or not, seek out your sin and the state of your heart. Do not merely glance at it and then turn your eyes to Christ. If you do so, he can only ever be your guide as you make your way through life.

No, look upon it, reflect on it, let it tear your heart. Listen to Joel’s call. This is the essence of repentance. Lamenting the evil that is in you.

Beware of your own morality. It is but a mist that will pass away. Do not allow it to obscure your vision of the mires of wickedness that mar the human heart. Know this wickedness so well that you cannot but look upon it with horror.

Then you will cry out for salvation. As you sink into this mire, you will understand your desperate need for rescue.

And Christ will stand before you, not merely as a guide for your life, but as your Savior. He will reach out and pull you up.

It is in this state, in this knowledge, that we can see Christ as our only hope of salvation. 

Please, please, I will beg without shame for this because I know that so many who say Christ is their savior say so with empty words. They claim to have a Savior when in their hearts they do not think they are in need of one. Take a moment and think about how you see yourself and Christ. Do you understand that you need a savior? Do you know that you are dead and that He is the only one who can give you life? 

Imagine two people climbing up a rock face. The first makes progress quickly, his hands holding tightly to a rope. He always looks up. Above him he sees a hand reach down to pull him to safety, but he disregards it, confident that the rope is secure. What he does not know is that the rope he clings to is worn and frayed. It is not long before it breaks and he falls to his death. Rescue was there but he did not know he needed it.

The second climbs a similar rope. He, too, makes some progress, but he looks down at the rope. When he does so, he sees that it is old. His eyes follow the rope up the cliff face and he realizes the rope has frayed and will soon break. Frantically, he searches for something else to cling to, but the cliff face is smooth and steep. Then, he sees a hand reach down to him. He rests in assurance as his rescuer brings him up.

Repentance is essential, but God is the one who changes hearts. This, too, is important. You cannot look upon the mire without new eyes to see it. So please, ask God to grant you the gift of repentance.

Then, take a moment to examine your rope.

“So you, by the help of your God, return,
hold fast to love and justice,
and wait continually for your God.”
-Hosea 12:6

We are called to live a life clinging to the arms of the savior, knowing it is in He, and He alone, that our salvation is found. This is true of the believer who has just been born again as well as the seasoned brother who has been clinging to the cross for decades.

Repent and be saved. Sinner look upon the Savior.

On a side note (this is not essential to the message of this post, but I found it interesting):

John the Baptist “went into all the region around the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance.”

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that baptism accompanies repentance. I think there is some crucial imagry here. You are lowered into the water and are surrounded by it. You are covered by it, in the midst of it, and if you remain below you shall perish. Then, someone else brings you up from the water. You did not raise yourself but you were raised into new life.

The Message of the Kingdom

I have heard the gospel many times. In fact, I attended a church for eight years in which the pastor shared the gospel at the end of every sermon. While that is not a bad thing, I became, like many other “church kids,” almost callous to the gospel.

The words themselves did not stir in me feelings of gratitude or joy, though I felt as if they should. Sometimes I tried to make myself feel that way, but I knew I shouldn’t have to. I had heard it so many times:

“We all sin and our sin seperates us from God. So God, in His love, sent His only Son to die on a cross for our sins. If we believe He did this, we can go to heaven when we die.”

Let me start off by saying that we should never become callous to the gospel. The gospel is life changing, our only source of hope. For Paul, it was the truth from which all morality flowed. 

But, I’m not sure that all that hope, power, and truth is contained in those words. Please don’t get me wrong, they are all true statements. But there is something missing, perhaps a few things.

I think the best place to look for the gospel is Christ himself. What message did He preach?

“From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand'”-Matt. 4:17

“And he went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people.” -Matt. 4:23

“And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction.” -Matt. 9:35

“Soon afterward he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God.” -Luke 8:1

“And he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal.” -Luke 9:2

“When the crowds learned it, they followed him, and he welcomed them and spoke to them of the kingdom of God and cured those who had need of healing.” -Luke 9:11

“And Jesus said to him, ‘Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.'” -Luke 9:60

“Heal the sick in it and say to them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.'”-Luke 10:9

It’s a rather long list. I find it interesting, though, that we rarely hear the gospel presented as the message of the kingdom. As Christians we might recognize the term and associate it with the gospel, but it’s terminology that we seem to avoid.

But what does it mean?

There are people who have written extensively on the subject, such as N. T. Wright, and I would encourage you to read what they have to say. However, I want to look at two things that can help us understand this “gospel of the kingdom.”

The first is healing. Isn’t it interesting that Christ pairs healing with preaching this message? Surely this is not coincidental. 

The healing is a physical representation of the message of the kingdom. He is telling while showing. 

So, then, what does healing show? Primarily it shows renewal and authority. He is restoring what is unwell and demonstrating that He has the authority to do so. We shall return to these shortly.

The second thing I want to look at is Peter’s sermon in Acts. Jesus commanded His disciples to preach the kingdom and they do. What do they say? What is this message of the kingdom?

Peter quotes scripture leading up to a declaration that Jesus has been raised from the dead. He then leaves those listening with these words:

“Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.”

His final statement is a clear announcement: Christ is Lord; He is King. He is also Christ.

Suddenly the healing makes sense. Lord and Christ. Authority and renewal. He is King but He is also the Lamb.

So, what is the gospel?

God made mankind and they were to be His people. But mankind rejected God and pursued their own desires. They refused to honor their King. 

But mankind was made by God and for God. By rejecting their Lord, they rejected life itself. And so, they died. They became creatures without purpose, creatures without hope. Sickness, pain, sorrow became their inheritance. 

Yet God did not abandon them. He called out a people and set them apart. But again and again these people chose to deny the King his throne. They were dead. They were hopeless. They could not heal their terminal disease.

But God would reveal His glory in a plan that showed the world what it meant to love. He sent His Son to heal His people and to take back His throne. He sent someone who called himself “the Life” into the world.

Jesus declared His lordship, He claimed His throne. Mankind reacted as they always had. They rejected their King, they rejected life. But this time, it was not they who died, but Christ in their place. 

But this is not where the story ends or surely it would have been even more tragic than before. 
No matter how much we flatter ourselves, Christ taking our place is a tragedy. Life died, light swallowed by darkness.

The end is far more beautiful than we could have ever imagined, for it is not really an end at all. It is a new beginning. Three days after His death, God raised Christ from the dead and crowned Him King. He put all things under His feet.

The kingdom man had created, a kingdom of death, sorrow, pain, and sickness, had been invaded. Soon it will be destroyed.

The reign of Christ had begun. Though not all see it yet, they will someday. Those who believe that Christ is Lord are a part of His Kingdom.

And what a beautiful Kingdom it is. It is a Kingdom of those whose sins have been paid for; a Kingdom in which those dead in sin are now alive. A Kingdom of healing, of life, of hope. Those who are a part of it are being themselves transformed and made new. They suffer as their King did, but they know that as they share in His sufferings so also they share in His resurrection.

We can experience it now, but our King returned to God for a while. Soon He will return and we will be restored completely. We will live with Him always in His Kingdom. We will forever be united with Him and the Father.

This message is one that brings me incredible joy. Not only that, but it alters my life completely.

I am no longer dead, for I am a part of the Kingdom of life. Therefore, sin does not rule over me.

I am incredibly thankful for I did not deserve such love.

I have unwavering hope. There is brokeness, pain, and sorrow in this world, but the resurrection has shown me what will become of those things. They will fade away before the enduring and beautiful life my King brings. I will suffer like Him but so I will join Him in resurrection.

I must share this message. He is King! He deserves honor and glory. I must tell others what He has done so that they do may sing His praise and serve His name! 

God graciously granted me a deeper understanding of the gospel and it is a beautiful, life-altering gift.

Before I finish writing, I want to address one more thing. While I already implored you not to be callous to the gospel, it is important to look at it again after discussing the message of the Kingdom. 

If you are callous, beg God that He would melt your heart and bring you to your knees.

If you are not, then I know you still require a deeper understanding of the gospel. We all do. It is essential. I would challenge you to seek this deeper understanding out. Pray that you might know it more, and meditate on the truths contained within it. Why?

In the gospel we find both morality and identity.

Let us begin with identity. The gospel reveals to us our deepest flaws, yet gives us our greatest worth. In the message of the Kingdom we can rest, being comfortable with the fact that apart from Christ we are wretched but He chose to die on our behalf. God has adopted us into His family.

I already mentioned brieflly Paul’s approach to ethics. He proclaims who we are and who Christ is and then applies this knowledge to life. Every action should flow from the gospel. We cannot be righteous apart from Christ. You can live a moral life, but only Christ sets us free from the chains that bind us to sin. 

Think about it. The gospel reveals what mercy, grace, love, and righteousness are. It is the purest demonstration of these things and others. When we know the gospel intimately, we know these. They become a part of who we are.

So I encourage you to think about this Kingdom and honor our Lord. Rejoice in His renewal and authority. Seek to know the gospel of the Kingdom intimately.

A Sad and Terrible Truth

As a Christian in the West, it often feels like I am swimming in a sea of voices. They tell me who God is, what to believe, and how to live. My experience is not an isolated one.

During the fall of my freshman year of college, I had a professor who has forever changed my life. That sounds dramatic, maybe, but it is true nonetheless. He did not cause this change through any lecture he gave in particular, though they were almost all very impactful. No, he changed my life because he changed the way I read the Bible.

And that changes everything.

Formerly, I had approached the Bible studiously, though in a limited way. I would search through headings and pick one that I thought would be instructive. Yes, I learned that way, but it allowed me to unconsiously choose what I wanted to believe and how I wanted to live.

This professor challenged me to sit down and read a whole gospel or epistle in one sitting. While this did not, perhaps, allow me to go as in-depth as the other method it had an unexpected result: I was forced to face the difficult passages that are, quite frankly, rampant in Scripture. 

I was forced to either accept or deny the God revealled by the Bible, the God who in many ways looks very different from what many Christians seem to think.

The following semester of college, I listened to and occasionally contributed to a discussion between two students about the inerrancy of the Bible. One was adament about the validity of inerrancy, the other not.

The latter seemed to be proposing that anyone educated in the Bible knew that it could not possibly be free from error. I concede he did not say this directly, but I came out of that conversation with the idea that this was his perspective and was very bothered by the idea.

Since I have an uncle with a Doctorate in Systematic Theology, I decided to call him. All I really wanted to know was that there were people educated in the Bible who still believe in inerrancy. I was not disappointed.

This same uncle recently came with his family to visit mine. Naturally, we struck up a conversation about this very topic. I had also started reading a book about different views on inerrancy.

What I discovered was that most people deny inerrancy due to one of, or a combination of, the following three reasons: Archeological finds (or a lack thereof) that seem to contradict Scripture, verses that seem to contradict (Sermon on the Mount or on the Plain?), and seemingly contradictory presentations of God (most commonly between the OT and the NT).

I won’t spend a whole lot of space on the first two. Archeological finds are always changing and using one to say the Bible is false is a weak argument. There used to be a claim that the book of Jonah must be inaccurate because it was impossible for a city to be so large that it would require a three-day’s journey to travel across it. Then they found evidence that there actually was (or could have been) such a city.

The second doesn’t really bother me at all. A knowledge of the ways events were recorded and presented in Biblical times or simply a knowledge of the nature of storytelling makes these “discrepencies” not at all troubling. Wrestling through many of them actually gives a deeper understanding of the text. 

I wanted to spend a little more time writing about the third reason people reject inerrancy. Many seem to think that the Bible gives contradictory presentations of God. It is not uncommon for Christians to wrestle with what they think is a change in character of God between the Old and New Testaments.

Let me throw out a proposition here: It is not that there are contradictory presentations of God in the Bible, but that the God reveled in the pages of Scripture often contradicts our own view of God.

This is what I was faced with when I began reading my Bible without being selective. When you study the Bible, without choosing which parts, you are forced to do one of three things: Ignore the contradiction (this one is popular though the problems are obvious), accept the God revealled by the pages of Scripture, or reject the Scripture as true. The latter are those who deny inerrancy.

If you approach the Bible studiously or are educated in it, eventually you must do one of those three things. 

Let’s remember, however, that many people study the Bible the way I used to or not at all. (On a side note, I do still study small passages in depth, but that is not the only way I read my Bible)

This brings us to a realization I had today while on Facebook. I saw the Christian cliché, “Hate the sin, not the sinner.” There are a lot of good intentions behind these words, mostly that it is important to love people. However, the message is actually unbiblical. As David Platt pointed out in his book, Radical, both Habakkuk 1:13 and Psalm 5:5 present different ideas about how God views sinners.

A God who hates sinners, however, does not always fit into the view of God many Westerners have. 

This is not an isolated case. I was in a car accident a few months ago, and I believe that it was, at least in part, God disciplining me for the sin in my life. It wasn’t punishment, but it was a “bad” situation that I very clearly saw His hand in as He taught me many lessons. I shared that with someone and they seemed extremely offended that I might suggest God might have caused the accident. No, He must have simply been making the best out of a bad situation.

I understand that at first thought a God that puts car accidents in our lives does not seem to be the loving God that we know. Yet perhaps that comes from misconceptions about God and His love. 

Let’s start with a Biblical example: Jonah.

Most Christians are familiar with this story. God tells Jonah to go and tell the Ninevites to repent. Instead of obeying, Jonah runs away from God. God, then sends a storm that would have destroyed the ship Jonah was on had Jonah not been tossed into the sea.

God sent a storm to Jonah. He sent a car accident to me. 

Yet do not think that this is unloving. I have never felt the love of God more strongly than I felt Him in the acts of discipline He placed in my life.

God knows that I need Him. Everything my soul needs is in Him. Would it not be unloving, almost cruel, for God to allow me to pursue sin instead of Him? What love He showed me in that accident!

The pages of Scripture reveal who God is. It is so very important that we seek to know Him! As I said at the start of this, there are so many voices teaching us about who God is, but the truth is only in God’s Word!

When confronted with a God in the Bible who is different from the God we think we know we should not reject Scripture, but cling to it!

We should not simply cling to what we have been told about God, but look to what He reveals about Himself! 

Whether educated in the Bible or neglectful of it, there is a great temptation to form our own view of God.

This is the sad and terrible truth:
Millions, perhaps billions of people go to churches every Sunday morning, lifting their hands and voices in worship to a God that does not exist. They serve a God that cannot be found in Scripture.

This breaks my heart and angers me all at the same time. God, who is worthy of more glory and honor than we could ever give, is robbed of the worship of so many because they choose to worship a god of their own creation.

We can try to correct false theology, but often we just melt into the sea of voices that already are surrounding Western Christians. Not only that, but I know I, at least, am very inadequate for such a task. I do not know Scripture so well that I can pretend that my theology is flawless or my view of God is not tainted by my sin.

As I read the Bible and the Spirit reveals God to me, I hope to grow in knowledge and help others to do the same, but what I want to plead here is that others do the same.

Let those educated in the Bible dare to accept the God revealled by it rather than rejecting the Bible’s inerrancy.

Let those who are not educated in the Bible, devote themselves to pursuing the God within those pages. Do not pick passages that fit nicely into your view of God, but let the Scripture create your view.

Oh that we would not rob God of His glory, but worship the one true God.

Loving God

God’s love for us is a topic often addressed. “God loves you” is probably the evangelical’s favorite line for sinners. Now, I’m not saying this is a bad thing. Sometimes, I admit, we seem to neglect other attributes of God because of our fixation on this one, but it is an important truth.

This post is, partially, about God’s love. However, I wanted to address how we love God. He loves us. It makes sense, then, that we should return this love, but how? This is a rather long post, but it is a concept that has greatly impacted me and I hope it will do so for you, too.

Let us begin with the man who was called “a man after God’s own heart.”

Most Christians know of David’s sin with Bathsheba, but at the end of 2 Samuel we find another record of sin. David takes a census of his military. This shows pride in himself rather than trust in God and because of it the nation is struck with a pestilence, killing 70,000 men. David goes to a threshing floor to make an offering to The Lord.

 When the owner of the land offers to give it to David, he responds with these words: “No, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God that cost me nothing.” (2 Samuel 24:24)

Those words stood out to me. Perhaps David is just being noble or feels paying the price will allieviate some of his guilt. But there is more to it than that.

Yesterday I was sitting at a park and praying. I remember thinking in my head, “I love you, God.” At that moment I was strongly convicted of something. How do I love God? At some moments I feel affectionate towards Him, but do I really love Him? Do I practice love for God?

I then began to ponder how one might love God. I recently listened to a wonderful sermon by Charles Spurgeon that discussed ways to delight in God, but delighting in someone is not really the same as loving them. 

It often feels like church services are lessons in how to please God, but is pleasing really the same thing as loving?

Christ said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

That is love. That is how Christ loved us. Please, please don’t miss what this means. We love Christ by laying down our lives.

Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24)

I never really gave much thought to the reason behind this request. Christ died and saved us. He has the right to ask us this, doesn’t he? If He had to suffer it makes sense that we should too.

But there is more to it than that! In taking up His cross, Christ loved us. In asking us to take up ours it is as if He is beckoning to us and saying, “Come! Love! Now that I have shown you how, love.”

This invitation is one that God was preparing hearts to hear for generations. Think of the OT sacrifices and offerings. Give your best. Sacrifice it. This is how you love, by laying down life. God did not reject Cain because he simply disliked vegetables. Abel loved God. Cain did not. He would not lay down his own life, his own wants and desires, for God.

The Israelites were like little children who recieved intructions on how to love, but they needed a demonstration. The sacrifices were the instruction, the demonstration was Christ.

David seemed to understand that concept. We can see it in his words: “I will not offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God that cost me nothing.” He would not offer something that cost him nothing because then his offering would not be an act of love! 

Unrequited love is something many of us are familiar with, but God loves without return far more deeply, vastly, and passionately than we ever could. How do we ever love Him in return? By laying down our lives. By picking up our cross. By offering our bodies as living sacrifices. (Romans 12:1)

Our culture is obsessed with love. That’s why I hesitate to post about it, but they aren’t obsessed with actual love. They are obsessed with extreme affections, feelings of elation and passion. This is what they glorify, not laying down your life for another.

In the Garden of Eden, Eve chose herself over God. She did not love. So God sent Christ to teach mankind how to love. 

He does not ask us to give him everything because He feels as if the scales are not balanced and we owe Him at least that. No, He canceled all our debts. He asks us to lay down our lives for him to show Him that we can love. He is like a father who shows His son to tie his shoe and then asks the child to try it himself. What joy it brings to the father to see his child has learned.

So love because He loved! Lay down your life, your will, what you desire. That is love. And love does not leave you empty. For God’s love flows through you. The more you give up your life the more you know the love of God. 

You can study how to swim all you want, but you do not know it until you have jumped into the water and moved through it with confidence. You do not really know love till you love, till you lay down your life.

So love God and love others. Loving others is also loving God. When we lay down our lives for others, we are laying down our lives for our God. This is what it means to abide in the love of God.

John 15 talks a lot about abiding in the love of God. He says, “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love.” and “This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater lover has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

Abide. Love. Do not know love superficially, but know it intimately by experiencing it.

Simon Peter was a great example of what this means. After Christ’s resurrection, Peter and Jesus have a conversation. Three times Jesus asks, “Do you love me?” Peter responds yes and Jesus always says, “Feed my sheep.”

This seems simply, at first glance, to be a call to ministry. It is, but again it is more than that.

Jesus has used sheep as a metaphor before and Peter will likely not have forgotten that. “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” (John 10:11)

Now Jesus commands Peter to “feed his sheep.” He is passing on this role. Lay down your life as I have laid down mine. 

As if to solidify this, Jesus then predicts Peter’s death. Peter will lay down his life for God and the sheep. He will love as Christ did.

So this is the call of Christ. Love for I have showed you how. “In humility count others more significant than yourselfves.” (Philippians 2:3) Give up what is yours for the sake of another.

Love Christ as He loved you. Pick up your cross and follow Him. Offer a sacrifice that costs you everything.

The Hatred of Mankind

The idea that God hates sin is not unknown among Christians, nor is the idea that this hatred of sin results in sinners being the object of God’s wrath. He is holy and sin is a direct violation of this holiness. 

This, many know, is where the cross comes in. It is on the cross that the wrath of God was poured out. But, instead of His wrath being poured out on those who were deserving of it, it was poured out on Christ. Christ, the innocent and righteous Son of the Most High, gave His life in our stead.

On the cross, Christ became the object, the recipient, of holy wrath.

Yet, on that cross, Christ also became the object of unholy wrath. This wrath came not from 
God, but from man.

In John 15:18, Christ says to His disciples, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.”

I wanted to spend a little time thinking about the implications of this verse. The world, mankind, hates Jesus. Man hates God. 

I have just recently come across an interesting blog by Seth Tipton called “Merciful Truth.” I’m not going to directly quote him, but I did want to draw from one idea he makes reguarding the word “hate” and I wanted to acknowledge that he had some influence on what I am about to say. I would encourage you to go read his post entitled, “Does God Hate?”

Love is often thought of as an emotion, but many have traversed past this naiive perception of love. We now often hear that love is an action or a choice. Essentially, it is a verb and not a feeling.

The same is true for hate, though we do not always think of it this way. Hate is something we do, not simply something we feel. 

In the aforementioned verse, Christ says the world hates Him. Sometimes this can be seen in anger towards Him. Christ is often the recipitent of the anger of the scribes and Pharisees. However, He is also hated by them. This hatred is expressed emotionally as anger, but it is, as we have already discussed, a verb. 

How do they hate Him, then? They have rejected Him. Their rejection is hatred of Him. This is not an act of love, but of hate.

Why do they hate Christ? Why does man hate Him? John 3:20 says, “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.”
Man is wicked and the righteousness of God, His holiness, makes this clear to us.

Imagine a man who was four feet tall, but live among others who were the same height for all of his life. One day, he takes a train to the city where he discovers that the average man is closer to six feet tall. Suddenly, he realizes he is short. He did not know until his opposite revealled what he was.

In literature, authors sometimes use what is called a character foil. This is a character that has contrasting traits with another. Having a mean, selfish character will reveal the kind, selfless nature of the opposite character. 

God is holy and man is wicked. God is powerful and man is weak. God is constant and man is fickle. We reject Him, committing an act of hate, because He is light and we are darkness and light is what reveals the darkness.

So, let us ask, what is the ultimate act of hate? Is it not murder? 1 John 3:15 says, “Everyone who hates his brother is a murder.” 

What is the ultimate act of love? Christ says in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

I have heard it said (I’m not sure by whom, though it may well have been Ben Stuart) that it is important to note the verb tense used in many passages about the love of Christ.

Ephesians 5:2 says, “And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” Loved. This is not to say that He felt feelings of love towards us that are in the past. No, He acted in love.

Romans 5:8 says it this way, “But God shows his love love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Let’s take a moment to think about this act of love. Christ said that the greatest love would be to lay down one’s life for his friends. Yet, somehow, Christ goes beyond this act of ultimate love in His act of love. He lays down His life not for His friends but for His enemies, those who were “still sinners.”

Now let us return to the ultimate act of hate, murder. Is it possible to go beyond that? Not in normal human interaction. What would be beyond murder? Hating without cause. Murdering someone completely and totally innocent- more than that- completely righteous.

On the cross, Christ bore the wrath of God. This was a holy, righteous wrath. A testament to His goodness, which is contrary to wickedness. Christ took this upon Himself, affirming that such wrath was just by accepting it and displaying extreme mercy by dying in our place.

On the cross, the beyond-ultimate act of God’s love and the beyond-ultimate act of human hate converged. 

Christ died, but He rose again. He took from those filled with darkness a people into whom He breathed light. He taught those who knew only hate how to love by showing us how.

To a Girl Who Thinks She’s Ugly

I remember thinking that I wasn’t pretty when I was young. This belief, though didn’t have a huge impact on me because I thought that I would just be a really good person and make up for it. I remember, though, when people would say “God thinks you’re beautiful.” People always thought that would help, but it never really did. Why? Because I didn’t understand God very well. He made me so of course He thinks I’m beautiful. It seems almost like He had to. Every parent thinks their child is something special. Besides God considers everyone beautiful so it isn’t really a compliment, is it?
 
Like I said, I didn’t really understand God very well. I wanted other people to think I was beautiful. Honestly, the standard of society mattered more to me than God’s. It seemed like God didn’t really have a standard at all. But God does have a standard of beauty and it is far higher than that of society. 

See God is perfect beauty. Everything that is beautiful comes from Him. God alone is truly beautiful. When something is beautiful it is simply reflecting God in some way.
Because God made humans in His image, you reflect His glory. Yet God is immeasurably immense. His beauty is boundless, so it is expressed in billions of ways. You reflect the very beauty of God, though differently than every other person who has ever lived and lives now. It’s like each person is a 2 second segment of a symphony. You are not beauty in its entirety. God is. But you reflect some of His beauty, as do all those created in His image.

I’m not saying beauty is irrelevant because everyone is beautiful. I’m saying that we have a limited view of beauty because we have allowed society to define it and their definition is very constricting.

Society, for the most part, has rejected God. Because of that, they have lost what beauty really is and they have to try to figure out what it is on their own. Their definition is based on human whims and desires. It is very superficial and biased. The first time I lived among people from a different culture I learned an important lesson. Beauty is relative. What one culture considers beautiful another considers far from it. Society doesn’t know what true beauty is. They are only guessing.

But why do we want to be beautiful? We want people to want us, even to admire us. We want society to want us. To decide which definition of beauty to accept we have to decide who we want to please. The world or God?

God already treasures us and desires us, but He also desires that we increase in beauty. Increasing in beauty requires that we reflect more of God. But we do not do that through outward appearance. He created us in beauty. When you look at yourself, admire His handiwork. God is pleased when we increase in beauty in a different way.

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

Beauty is kindness, love, mercy, forgiveness. It is the character of God in us. When you are beautiful in this way, you are far more beautiful than anyone the world considers beautiful. And those who know true beauty, those who know God, will recognize your beauty. Maybe society will tell you you’re beautiful someday, but it doesn’t really matter. If you wanted to be the best soccer player you could be and you wanted to know if you were any good, would you ask someone who had never seen a game of soccer or played in their life to come and watch you? Society doesn’t know beauty and cannot tell you what it is.

Lest I Die

“How many of you will wear out a Bible and say, ‘I must know this lest I die?'”
-Paul Washer

When I first heard this quote, I was convicted. That is not the way I often approached the Bible. Yes, sometimes I went to it eagerly, thirsty for living water. Sometimes I wished to learn. Sometimes I would go to it wishing to recieve the peace and assurance that often comes while reading scripture.

But not always. Sometimes I went to the Word reluctantly, as if fulfilling some sort of Christian quota. I was not always eager. Even when I was, though, it never reached the level that Paul Washer seems to promote in this quote. “Lest I die” Surely that is a bit dramatic, right?

Not long ago, I went through a time that was quite difficult for me. Yet, despite the hardship I was learning a lot from God. I relished that, but I was still a little confused. 

Suffering is a part of the Christian life. That lesson I revisited many times, drawing hope from it. I read the book of Job and felt comfort from the story. Perhaps I was like him, afflicted but innocent. Yet, and this is something Christians often miss, even Job repents.

Was sin a source of my suffering? Of course it was. Suffering purifies us of sin. I was fully ready to admit this, but I never put a label on my sin. I hid behind the vagueness of my iniquity.

God does not let His children do this forever, though. Discipline without correction is only punishment. So, eventually, God brought clarity to my sin. It was not done dramatically nor during some sort of intense spiritual experience. I was simply sitting, thinking and praying. The Holy Spirit gave me understanding.

I had been struggling with trusting God and did not know why. There was a simple explanation: I had coveted an idol. There was something in my life that I so desperately desired that I could no longer trust God with my life. I did not know if He would give me the object of this desire so I could not trust Him. I would go after this idol on my own.

My suffering suddenly made perfect sense. I could see God’s hand inmistakably in the way things had occured, creating the exact situation needed to rid me of my idol.

If you cling tightly to an idol, when God sends fire to destroy it, you will be burned. I was burned, but God was there amidst the ashes, ready to bring me back to Him. 

The knowledge of my sin was at once liberating and a source of mourning. The plan of God and the love of a disciplining Father had never been clearer. 

Yet now I could see how I had sinned against the Lord. I repented and mourned over this attrocity, this betrayal of the Holy One I love. I knew He forgave me and I rejoiced in that as well as in His purifing fire.

But something else really bothered me, leaving me surprised and extremely wary. Coveting an idol. There is no mistaking this sin. It is grievous, unable to be painted as anything else. 

And for months I had no idea. I was not living in denial or intentional rebellion. I did not know that I was sinning against the Lord.

I thought I was seeking Him, doing His will. I prayed again and again that He would help me trust Him because I did not know why I could not. 

In response to this realization, I prayed desperately that God would keep me from such sin again. How could I so hurt the one I love and not even see it? How could I abandon Christ for something so utterly worthless and not know it? What pain I must have caused my Lord! What insult to a holy God! 

I was utterly blind. The way God gave me sight is demonstrated in the way He healed a blind man in the gospel of John. Others may explain this strange method of healing in other ways, but to me it has gained special significance. Christ spit, making mud. He then put mud on this man’s eyes. Then He told the man to wash them. When the man did so, he was healed. 

Why cover what was already blind? Why send me suffering? To reveal the blindness. To truely know healing, we must first know we are sick.

Thus I was made to see that I had been blind. But the question remains as to how to prevent this. Is it not a terrifying thought to think we might live in sin and be completely unaware of it?

We should never live in fear. Why? Because perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18). God loves His children deeply and if you or I fall into this, He shall show His love in discipline as He did for me. He will not allow His children to remain in sin. So there is no need for fear. Yet, there are ways that scripture tells us we can hope to avoid ignorantly grieving our Lord.

The first I will mention only briefly: community. The church is called to build one another up and to have people that know you intimately can aid in the discovery of sin. What we are blind to, another might not be.

The second is prayer. When I realized that I had been sinning in ignorance, I prayed to God with a mournful heart. How could I ever hope to prevent myself from sin that I could not even see. 

Suddenly Christ’s words in the Lord’s Prayer, “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” seem so crucial. We should be crying out to God, asking for His protection. Please, Father, keep us from sin. King David crys out similarly in Psalm 139, writing, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there if be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

The last way to arm ourselves against hidden sin brings us back to the quote from Paul Washer. 

“How many of you will wear out a Bible and say, ‘I must know this lest I die?'”

David writes about the law of God in Psalm 19:

“The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple…the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes…the rules of the Lord are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honey comb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them is there great reward. Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults. Keep back your servant also from presumptuous ins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression.”

Psalm 119 says similarly, “through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way.”

In the pages of the Bible, we find the law of God. Oh that we would learn it and know it so intimately that we would see sin easily and with complete clarity! The law is like an artist that paints a picture that depicts the holy righteousness of God. Oh that we would be so familiar with each nuance of color and every form that we would know anything besides to be just that!

I am not calling for a legalistic approach to Christian life. No, not at all! This love of the law comes from a love for Christ and our love for Christ originated with Him. We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). Christ gave up all for us. We were dead in our sins, estranged from God and He chose to die that we might be with Him. 

Why do we seek to know the law? Because we cannot bear the thought that we might grieve Him. He that is all and loves us so deeply. Should we not pour our souls into this endeavor? 

“I must know this lest I die.” This is no exagerrated or dramatized claim. No, it is a desperate cry of the heart of a child of God who knows the love of God and knows his own inability to recipricate it. It is the intense commitment of one who loves the man upon the cross but continually finds more nails in his hand.

Should not such treatment of our Lord be to us like death? Does not death separate us from those we love? To be estranged from our Lord through hidden sin is, to the child of God much like death. 

There is mercy if we fail, but let us pursue righteousness with a vigor that springs from love. Love that Christ gave when He died upon the cross and now we hope to give back to Him as best we can.

Inescapably, Wretchedly Wicked

People fear many things. We give our fears crazy, long names and sometimes laugh about them. Some fears, however, we hide from. We dare not confront them, so deep is our anquish at the thought of them. 

One such fear is our fear that we are inescapably, wretchedly wicked. 

This is not a commonly identified fear, but it is there nonetheless. We see wickedness everywhere, but we treat it like a disease. We quarentine those too far gone, even destroy them. We try to label it, try to identify it, try to rid ourselves of it. 

But this is no normal enemy. Despite all of mankind’s efforts, it is not destroyed because it is a part of us. No matter how far technology and society progress, it seems wickedness remains with us.

Why do people kill, rape, manipulate? We see those who have done these things and wonder at the wicked world. Yet we feel anger, lust, and selfish desires that seem to be the initial symptoms of the disease.

If I asked you if you fear that wickedness is a part of you, that the same disease that has overtaken a serial killer flows through you, I doubt you would say you do. Yet, what would happen if you stopped fighting it, if you gave in?

If you didn’t resist yourself would your hatred become vengence or even murder?

What would become of your lust?

What would become of your anger?

Why is wickedness so much like giving in?

You may not claim to fear your own wickedness, but you live as if you are afraid. You live as if there is an enemy waiting to destroy you. If you did not fight it, it would overtake you. Even now there are moments when it escapes your control and comes out.

There are many religions in the world. Why? It is not simply to ensure that should there be an afterlife, we would be secure. There is a strong focus on moral conduct that suggests an additional motivation. Part of the role of religion in society is to reign in the wickedness inside of us. Rules feel constraining. Why? Because they are. The law is holding back what we fear.

This fear often comes to light through close relationships. Perhaps the most difficult thing to share with another person is our struggle with evil. We often fail to reveal our vanity, our anger, our lust. If we cannot face it ourselves, how can we ever hope to tell another. It is a fear of which we are ashamed. 

Why, though, do we fear that we are wicked? Simply, because we know goodness exists. 

We see joy, peace, and kindness. There is goodness and there is wickedness. Goodness must come from somewhere, but how can we know the source if we are evil. The source of goodness but be utterly and completely good, something we can never be. We spend our whole lives trying to rid ourselves of wickedness, but all we can do is contain it. If wickedness is a part of us, how can we ever truly know goodness? If there is some darkness in you, how can you ever really know light?

Yet we do not love pain and sorrow. We want so desperately to be happy. If we are wicked inside then we are inescapably so. And if we cannot escape it, than we cannot escape pain and sorrow.

Do not be surprised at rape, murder, cruelty. These are a part of mankind.

We are wretchedly wicked and cannot escape. 

Jeremiah 30:12-13 says, “For thus says the LORD: Your hurt is incurable, and your wound is  grievous. There is none to uphold your cause, no medicine for your wound, no healing for you.”

Again in verse 15 the prophet says, “Why do you cry out over your hurt? Your pain is incurable.”

The Bible unashamedly declares the truth of our wretched wickedness, our inability to cure this disease and live in freedom. Yet it does not end there. A few verses later God declares, “For I will restore health to you and your wounds I will heal.”

Our wound is incurable, yet God promised to heal it! And he did. He sent His Son to die, to accept the inheritance of our wickedness. Christ took our wickedness upon him and died. He was wounded, mutilated, killed, and we were healed instead. What is incurable for us can only be healed by God. We do not have to struggle in vain any longer.

Evil and sin were destroyed by Christ. He rose three days later in victory over death.

This fear need not belong to us any longer.  1 John 4:8 says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

Now we can look at ourselves not in fear but in light of Christ’s act of love. We can look at the wickedness in us and know it is defeated. We need not fear it for our inheritance is no longer pain and sorrow. Instead, we have inherited joy, peace, and love. 

No only this, but we can now know true goodness. Free from darkness, we can experience light. Christ once said, “No one is good except God alone.” (Mark 10:18)
We can know God, from whom all goodness comes.

So let us live in freedom and not in bondage. Reflect the goodness of God in your life, rather than wickedness that He is victorious over. We no longer have to fear that others know us intimately. For we know there is wickedness in us, but we are no longer wicked if we believe Christ has died in our place. Instead, we have his righteousness and have power over evil. We have recieved the cure, the love of Christ, and it flows through our veins, driving the disease of wickedness out before it.

We can look at our brothers and sisters and tell them that we are struggling. We can share the battle because we know we shall be victorious for Christ has already won.

Don’t live in fear of the sinful nature, Christian. You were once a slave to sin but now you are a slave to righteousness. (Romans 6:17-18) Your inheritance is no longer death, but life. So don’t live in bondage to wickedness; serve Christ instead. 

Remember this:
“Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” Romans 6:13-14

Man is inescapably, wretchedly wicked.

But God is completely, undeniably victorious.